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How to Kill Your Brother-In-Law's Fish
By Lou V
The following procedures are to be followed if your brother- and
sister-in-law are in-between moving from an old house to a new house, and
your brother-in-law gives you his fish to watch:
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Hook up the filter incorrectly, forgetting to open the throttles he has
meticulously closed. The water will get very dirty within a week, and
the fish will be swimming around in muck. This should kill off the weak
ones.
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Replace the water – all of it at the same time. Some say you’re not
supposed to replace all the water at the same time. Something about the
fish being used to the water they’re in. Only replace
some of it at a time, they say. Replacing all of the water in the fish tank at once ensures that you kill off a couple more fish.
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Wimpie Fish is right -- these
things didn't last a week. |
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Put
the turtle in the same tank as the fish for "just one
night". This solves
two problems – if the tank that the turtle was in has a slow
leak, taking the turtle out of that tank and emptying its water
prevents water from leaking onto the floor. Putting the turtle in
the same tank as your brother-in-law’s fish is certain to make a
couple ‘disappear’.
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With
one fish left, ask yourself, why are you maintaining a big fish
tank for this one little fish? Wouldn’t the fish be happier in
the outside pond, with all the ‘manly’ fish swimming in water
that is at least 20 degrees colder.
I
am at step 4 right now.
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