Gas
or Oil Heat?
Gas Bomb
...When
I opened the back door, there was a TREMENDOUS smell of gas, I went
racing into the basement and discovered ... [more]
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How
to Kill Your Brother-In-Law's Fish
The
following procedures are to be followed if your brother- and sister-in-law
are in-between moving from an old house to a new house, and your brother-in-law
gives you his fish to watch:
-
Hook
up the filter incorrectly, forgetting to open the throttles he has
meticulously closed. The water will get very dirty within a week,
and the fish will be swimming around in muck. This should kill off
the weak ones.
|
Wimpie
Fish is right -- these
things didn't last a week. |
-
Replace
the water – all of it at the same time. Some say you’re not
supposed to replace all the water at the same time. Something
about the fish being used to the water they’re in. Only replace
some of it at a time, they say. Replacing all of the water in the
fishtank at once ensures that you kill off a couple more fish.
-
Put
the turtle in the same tank as the fish for "just one
night". This solves
two problems – if the tank that the turtle was in has a slow
leak, taking the turtle out of that tank and emptying its water
prevents water from leaking onto the floor. Putting the turtle in
the same tank as your brother-in-law’s fish is certain to make a
couple ‘disappear’.
-
With
one fish left, ask yourself, why are you maintaining a big fish
tank for this one little fish? Wouldn’t the fish be happier in
the outside pond, with all the ‘manly’ fish swimming in water
that is at least 20 degrees colder.
I
am at step 4 right now.
--
LouV
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Home
Improvement:
Dante's
Blow Dryer
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...
I was half-watching a handyman show when they had a helluva paint scraping
task. They were using an electric heat gun. Perfectly brutal! In an
ugly conventional war against paint, the heat gun is splendidly nuclear. At
forty bucks, the affordable answer to my woes. (Until I see my electric
bill.).. [more] |
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The Perfect Screw
Holder:
The Case of the
California Job
Case
Back
in junior high school, in one of the vocational classes that you could take,
alongside woodshop, I forget the name of the class, but everyone had a
California Job Case.. [more]
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