Money and Business   

 

 

 

 

 

  

Anatomy of a Layoff

A true story, described in blow-by-blow fashion on the day of the layoff. [more]

Printing Industry Shrugs 
As Executive Retires

Printing industry employees from pressroom porters to the executive suite collectively shrugged and uttered a figurative “so what?” on news that printing executive Hal Stottard, an executive with a large Moonachie commercial printing firm, quietly retired today. [more]

 

 

Anatomy of a Takeover

A true story, described in blow-by-blow fashion on the day of the takeover and in the months that followed. [more]

 

Hedge Hogs

Hedge funds are presently the hottest “vehicle” into which supposedly only “rich” people can put their spare, say lose-able, cash. Hedge fund managers – especially “good” ones – are the first-cousins of .. [more]

Bottoms' Up, Slackeys

Another Dot.Com Gets Raped

..it was New Economy and Slacker Workforce all the way. They had a huge conference space that was devoted to a really nice pool table, plush leather chairs, and a gigantic ceiling mounted video system that would probably be showing such Slack TV bullshit like "Survivor" and "Ally McBeal” [more]

  

Worst 10 Acorn Jobs

  1. Entering the job schedule at Applied Printing Technologies

richsheppard3.jpg (217546 bytes)
Dick Acorn

  1. Climbing inside the freezer and chipping out ice at Carvel Ice Cream

  2. Stocking and organizing hundreds of small gift items at Rosen Decorators

  3. Doing curtain and drape inventory at Rosen Decorators

  4. Removing frozen ice cream cakes from metal molds at Carvel

  5. Washing down the interior of the soft ice cream machine at Carvel

  6. Drying the silverware at Starr's Restaurant

  7. Reconciling postage accounts at Applied Printing Technologies.

 

In the Workplace:

Buck-passing

"When people aren't watching you, they cannot see your misdeeds and thereby encourage them.  The amount of guilt you feel when you are provoked into wrongdoing by lack of oversight is entirely up to you, but it might be minimal.  The person who is supposed to be watching you might deserve most, if not all of the blame. 

Likewise, when that person fucks up, his overseer is responsible.  The blame-game ends somewhere - maybe among the clouds - but don't let it start with the finger pointing at you. 

Always keep your blaming finger point-poised and well-exercised.  Personal responsibility and self-deprecation are for sissies, people who took wedgies in school and get bum-rushed by broads.  Be ready to convert your point-finger into a righteous fist as needed to defend your innocence - especially when you are guilty of 'lack of oversight'."

-- Dick Acorn

 

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Working for Naomi Campbell

This candidate also possesses the traits of the superlative assistant: Attention to Detail, Loyalty, Persistence, and Discretion & Honesty. [More]