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By
Dink Leiberman
While
I was wandering around Lower Manhattan for lunch, I
decided to visit the elevated plaza at 55 Water Street,
overlooking the East River and Brooklyn, get a little
fresh air. 55 Water Street used to be the headquarters
of Chemical Bank, now, I don’t know who leases there
except to say it is a large large building, sq/ft-wise.
Chemical and Manufacturers Hanover merged I don’t
know, fifteen years ago almost to this month (5/06).
It’s
a cool day, and I’m enjoying the view over the river,
there’s a different perspective from this plaza, than
from around the tip of the island, around into Battery
Park. Where the view is out into the harbor. It’s a
Brooklyn/East River vista and you’re looking right at
the Wall Street Heliport. The Police Museum is just
north of the raised plaza, it’s the original First
Precinct building, authoritative in style, and might be
worthy of a visit of its own.
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But
I’m not alone up there on this plaza, there’s some
kind of avant-garde performance going on with what I can
only say are Broads in Plastic Tutus. Not only were the
tutus plastic, but they also had speakers built into
them; these speakers emitted what can accurately be
called “UFO-type” noises – “Woooooeeeeoooo
Woooeeeoooo” would approximate this. |
Broads
in Plastic Tutu's |
Apparently in
connection with these noises the dames, with dancer-type
builds, would make herky-jerky and random motions. Later
research revealed that the noises emanating from the
skirt speakers are randomly affected by their
surroundings, thus the disjointed nature of the event.
The dames also wore some kind of goggles/visors, plus
sunglasses to complete the alien-ish look. They were
uniformly clad in a bright red danceskin-type body suit
with black danceskin leg coverings under the clear
plastic tutus. An odd getup all around but showing them
to good female effect.
They
herked and jerked around a bit, mostly
individualistically and then in unison for a subdued
finale. They did some kind of routine with rakes among
the bushes and some inexplicable wandering. It wasn’t
what I’d call a compelling performance – kinda
bizarre. The dames themselves were good looking, nice
bodies as you’d expect from dancing dames, and going
about their business in an appealingly earnest manner. I
think one of them noticed this culture clod chuckling a
little at the senselessness of it all. The show’s
theme or purpose was lost on me except for the novelty
of Broads
in Plastic Tutus in the middle of Lower Manhattan. Until I came back here to the office, and after a
little web surfing discovered that these dancers were
called the Audio Ballerinas, and they are performing at
the behest of the Lower Manhattan Cultural Council. The
guy who conceived/choreographed this show reads like a
EuroMod type – probably a trim black-clad les artiste
type. I suspected this watching the show before knowing
- that it was Euro-kooky in conception, some kind of
modernistic Euro-futuristic statement. At least there
were no Bush-as-Nazi placards which predominates
“Euroculture Today.”
The
plastic tutu broads are at 55 Water performing
so-to-speak all week. I wonder if I could go make small
talk with one of these spacey-clad broads. The whole
shebang lends itself to an “I’m curious…”
gambit. “I’m curious, do you wear that costume
elsewhere besides this performance?” Not only about
what makes a dame wear a plastic tutu, but what other
offbeat ideas she may entertain from a friendly, curious
observer.
Broads
in Plastic Tutu's -- Part Two; The Play
5/9/06
– I could not let it go by, the notion of the meaning
of the broads in plastic tutus. So I went over there
today to watch them again, this time determined to find
the secret of their performance. The performance was
similar to yesterday’s, it’s interpretive dance on
and individual level, with them each doing their own
little thing. Then for the finale, they strike some
poses that are strangely compelling with their plastic
tutus. The UFO noises emanating from the tutu speakers,
along with their identical sunglasses is a…different,
not bad, visual effect. Especially since they are on the
lawn that comprises the “Raised Acre” that is part
of the 55 Water St. public plaza. And I have a crush on the single mocha
dame who looked so appealing in her electric tutu. After
their finale, I went over and had the following
exchange. Unfortunately it was beginning to rain, and
the group was hurrying a bit to get out of their
water-and-electricity-don’t mix attire. Can’t blame
them! The exchange below still hasn’t satisfied my
curiosity but this last attempt closes out this episode
of broads in plastic tutus.
Me
(to Guy 1 - he looked like someone affiliated): Is
there some theme to this program, some overriding
message?
Guy
1 (pointing at another fellow): Ask him, he’s the
choreographer.
Me
(to indicated guy): Sir, is there some overriding
theme to this program, like, er, man’s alienation to
audio-sensory overload? Some kind of message…?
Choreographer
(somewhat offended it seemed): Theme? No there’s
no theme, look, ask me in half-hour, I gotta get packed
up before this rain. It’s a site specific show…does
Beethoven’s music have a message?
Me:
I’m just thought…are you German – I saw this has
German origins (a dumb question since the guy sounded
like he was from…)
Choreographer:
No, I’m based in Germany, but I’m from D.C.
Me:
So this is kinda wildly modernistic, some kind of
Euro-thing? Interpretive – do your own thing? (In
hindsight, I can be real dumb)
Choreographer
(half-paying attention): yeah sorta, I have a web
site….
Me:
May I have it?
Choreographer
(handing me a card): there it is.
Me:
Thanks (looking for the mocha dancer, who was occupied
getting out of her soon-to-be-dangerous-in-the-rain
electric tutu…realizing I can’t bother her) Damn….
CURTAIN
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