July 18, 2000

A Slip of the Tongue?

Why does Hillary Clinton love speaking out on so many issues?

Because it is the only exercise she gets for her tongue. 

If Hillary said what some people say she said, if she called her husband's first campaign manager back in 1974 a "fucking Jew bastard" maybe it's because once again, Hillary was demonstrating that the only "tongue exercises"  she enjoys is talking. We can surmise this because her husband Bill is apparently driven to looking wherever and whenever he can for a companion who will exercise her tongue in ways that don't include Hillary's constant public policy droning and harping.

She hurled this common and vile insult while blaming the guy who she claims cost Bill his first taste of public office back in 1974. As she and Bill were driven even at that early date to seize the White House at all costs, you can imagine how pissed off Hillary was that right out of the gate, Bill's career might flop. Given her lust for power, how could she NOT have excoriated her scapegoat in the harshest terms? People say what's on their mind when they're pissed, and that stinging insult was a handy sledgehammer of an insult for her to drag out of her handbag and wallop the guy with. 

You can almost imagine how furious she was: Here Bill did her the favor of marrying her despite her atrocious eyewear and immobile and terrifying stone-faced features; Now that the Big Creep loses his very first election, she was going to have to find some other public policy schmuck to bring her to the White House and share her feminist bed. You know the reason Hillary stuck by Bill despite his penchant for "pant's open" sex with as many broads as he could jism and jive? Because she knew that going back into the man-market with her appearance and attitude was a big non-starter. Her Bill was going to be president by god, she would endure the frolics, and when they took over 1600 Pennsylvania, Hillary was going to sit at the levers of power and change the world into a finger-pointing utopia where everything is free and no one has to work or tell the truth.

And it's not so much that Ms. Rodham denied making the remark, which is a case of "he said, she said" (but without the smoking gun sperm-besmirched blue dress that trapped Billy boy). Only five people know for sure if the remark was actually uttered: The campaign manager and his wife and a Clinton campaign's supporter and gofer who say sure as shit she said it vs. Bill and Hillary Clinton, proven liars and subpoena-ducking hucksters. The real insult to the public intelligence is that several other people nearby heard the loud argument going on, and it's a cold fact that the argument took place. Hillary denies even this, claiming that the argument within which the slur might've occurred didn't take place. This is akin to Bill saying he wasn't even at the hotel when Paula Jones was there, when there were scores of people who saw him and several who swore that he requested the freebie room into which he lured Playboy Paula!. Hillary's best defense would have been, "we all say things when we're upset and angry that we wish we didn't. If anybody can remember what they said 26 years ago, well, good for you I can't. I can't remember what I did say, but I know definitely for sure what I DIDN'T say, I didn't say "fucking Jew bastard.." But maybe she knows such nip-and-tuck language won't fly with the Jewish community, which considers even innocuous remarks as a precursor of another Holocaust. 

Fret not, Hillary supporters and excusers. There is no smoking sperm-bespattered blue dress to catch Hillary, and therefore she can continue denying it and her true followers will believe her. The media will move onto another story soon enough, and New Yorkers have notoriously short memories when it comes to electing public officials, as they demonstrated by electing the likes of RFK, David Dinkins, Alphonse "Where's mine?" D'Amato, and even George "Republican" Pataki. And let's remember too that the Clintons maintain an incredible ability to "aw shucks" their fuck-ups away as they have no troubling consciences. After all they're always right, and their enemies, well, their enemies are not only always wrong, they are common and vile people that they would dare oppose a single Clinton policy, statement, or revealing activity. Behind closed doors, you can be sure, the Clintons don't hold back what they really think of such folk who stand in the way of Hillary's power-lust and Bill's panty-lust.

--Dick Acorn